SUNDAY MORNING

sitting with you in the kitchen
the glass door of the oven mirrors your foot in its shoe
practical, down-to-earth, material
triggering love desire despair
you talk, i want to fuck you
i listen, thinking no chance, no way,
not even worth trying
we have three minutes before i have to go

a parting kiss
i take your breasts in my hands
fleetingly, longing
maybe later ?
this afternoon maybe ?

melancholy and blue

i watched the terrifying beauty of the sea
i thought of the will o´wisp
i thought of your breasts
one day you will leave me
and will i then destroy myself ?
cocaine, alcohol and similar crimes against body and soul ?

it has been so beautiful my love

I LOST SOUL

i´ve lost
soul, something´s gone
something i never had ?
and this long history
these long histories
are tearing me up inside
what do i need ?
the madonna of the strange seas
and above all
me

LOST SOUL

so heavy is me
shouting, screaming, crying
tskk ! hisses the mother inside me
good that i have a strong heart
otherwise
this
would tear me apart

WHERE OR WHAT ?

a parking lot

in a poorly lit undercroft

earnest ads for samaritans

crumpled beer cans

dark oil stains on the uneven concrete

behind a pillar a used condom

where she

at three a.m. after the club

had downed her panties and upped her skirt

and they had had a good time

drunken and urgent

unaware that the security guard had them on the low resolution surveillance screen

watching horny, envious

irritated when a voice at the glass pane

asked for a taxi number

couldn´t see properly anyway

just the movements

and where or what is life ?

Known Recipients

I see the soft greens of very early morning
and like a million others
think about my evil, my stupidity, aggressivity and coarseness
wonder, hoping
is there something that can wash away my sin ?

yet fully aware
nothing gets undone
that was done
however much i forget
a chance encounter
can bring it all up again
that was and that is me
there is evil in everyone

autumn at the station

where are the brown and golden leaves of autumn ?
yesterday sick in bed
today looking for health
last night breathing trouble
breathing with difficulty
today keeping an eye on the situation

new york hit by hurricane sandy

i wait

for money, for disaster
for truths, for ecstasy
for something unknown