my mamma, the sea

i am at sea
lying in your bed
sensing your sweetness

i am at sea
my hands and legs falling off
hanging on to something
that has gone

at sea asleep
at the mercy
of my dreams
of an oil tanker bearing down on my row boat

at sea
i am at sea

camel blues

if you want it, you can have it
really, truly, i am a good camel
stubborn, silent
i will carry you to the other side

what does a camel think ?
his sexual desire ?
sublimated through storm, sand, wind
the heat swirling through me
 a cup of goat´s milk, a plate of dates
dreaming of the salt sea air
and of the woman who opened martin´s heart

I FELL

i fell into this world
into time
into this language
into a place, a culture
i fell
i still falling
falling through useless rescue blankets of soggy paper
i still falling
still lonesome
still whimpering
still lost in the storm

MY BITS

bedside digital clock reads 06:56

i was born 1956

is my unknown mamma

or the madonna of the strange seas

reading these lines ?

no

no-one

no body

i stand alone

my inner voice that of a 7-year-old

fingers fidgeting

some stubbornness holds my bits together

A KIND OF ME

bridge
bus
looking on
yellowy moss spread on freight station roofs
here switzerland
ticking ticking ticking
my heart collapsing
need air, need light
scream mamma scream !
blue yellow red
running on empty

Sometimes

sometimes when it´s bad
in the deserts of my heart
nighttimes below freezing
running on empty
my scorpions, my scorpions
arched to strike me
to kill me
and daytimes
empty searing heat
burning : my heart burning
burning : the skies burning
burning : running on empty

AND FALL

a posse of well-equipped cyclists
pass fast
uniform
talking man talk
about the misery of contemporary love
sipping vitamin water for enhanced performance
and beneath the armour
the physical and moral exhaustion
of tax-farmers and their dependents

SUNDAY MORNING

sitting with you in the kitchen
the glass door of the oven mirrors your foot in its shoe
practical, down-to-earth, material
triggering love desire despair
you talk, i want to fuck you
i listen, thinking no chance, no way,
not even worth trying
we have three minutes before i have to go

a parting kiss
i take your breasts in my hands
fleetingly, longing
maybe later ?
this afternoon maybe ?

melancholy and blue

i watched the terrifying beauty of the sea
i thought of the will o´wisp
i thought of your breasts
one day you will leave me
and will i then destroy myself ?
cocaine, alcohol and similar crimes against body and soul ?

it has been so beautiful my love