LOST SOUL

so heavy is me
shouting, screaming, crying
tskk ! hisses the mother inside me
good that i have a strong heart
otherwise
this
would tear me apart

WHERE OR WHAT ?

a parking lot

in a poorly lit undercroft

earnest ads for samaritans

crumpled beer cans

dark oil stains on the uneven concrete

behind a pillar a used condom

where she

at three a.m. after the club

had downed her panties and upped her skirt

and they had had a good time

drunken and urgent

unaware that the security guard had them on the low resolution surveillance screen

watching horny, envious

irritated when a voice at the glass pane

asked for a taxi number

couldn´t see properly anyway

just the movements

and where or what is life ?

Known Recipients

I see the soft greens of very early morning
and like a million others
think about my evil, my stupidity, aggressivity and coarseness
wonder, hoping
is there something that can wash away my sin ?

yet fully aware
nothing gets undone
that was done
however much i forget
a chance encounter
can bring it all up again
that was and that is me
there is evil in everyone

autumn at the station

where are the brown and golden leaves of autumn ?
yesterday sick in bed
today looking for health
last night breathing trouble
breathing with difficulty
today keeping an eye on the situation

new york hit by hurricane sandy

i wait

for money, for disaster
for truths, for ecstasy
for something unknown

MORNING TIME

and it hits me so hard
sometimes
it´s 8 or 9 or 10 in the morning
and the world stares at me
as if ready to eat me up
gobble me up in three bits
and this cold stare
drives me crazy
and, mummy, i don´t know what to do
and all roads closed
jesus  ! why me ?

my birthday

a Geordie´s son
some wrong done
ni hanna kenna
kanje
wit witless
wot tailor?
why witch ? bitch ?
so apostrophic
apologetic
so he keeps driving onwards

a morning

wake from tears dreaming
walk out onto the lookout
east the pitiless life-giver glaring and screaming at me
west the moon
the recipient
incapable of love
sigh or scream ?
my north is south
and in the affairs of men
this all has no import