love mummy

A : say you love me
B : yes
A : and just me ?!
B : my son, I am a person...
A : NO !
B : ... and I love you
A : just me, say you love just me !
B : I am a person
A : the person, who gave me life. without you I would not BE
B : you' re saying i' m just your birth machine, a means to your ends
A : mummy, I NEED YOU
B : and me, am i nothing in this world, don't i have needs, don't i have desires ? i am person, just like you. open your eyes.
A ( crying)
B : your eyes aren't for crying but for to see this world. wipe away your tears. open your eyes.
A : NO !
B : sweetheart
A : NO !! NO, NO. please don't
B : sweetie, wipe the tears from your eyes.
A : no i can't. you glued them shut; you told me I don' t exist.
B : don't talk to me like that. we'll send you to bed with no supper.
( pause)
A : how long will this go on ?
B: as long as you live, sweetie

that tiny click

was that click her door opening ?
mamma, who will take me in her arms
and whisper that everything is going to be alright !

silently

drink my tea, my conventions,
early morning, dark outside,
i eat an apple.
my head is weary.
time is inexorable, comes then goes.
i stand silently screaming :
what was, what could have been,
and the flurry of interpretations.
a sudden gust leaves them as a crumpled mess of papers in the corner of the room.
the door swings, windows bang.

chick peas III

nothing
nothing, nothing
only counting
and hoping to come on through
counting and forgetting where i am
who i was
where it happened
whom
why ?
when ?
and will they ?
will they ?
will they ??

and
will I ?

chick peas on monday

i am counting the chickpeas.
that is allowed
it is permitted to sit on the dusty ground with the wicker basket in front of you and
to count the chick peas

what is forbidden
is the businessman´s laziness

are we squeezing the last drops from the orange
or laying new foundations ?
heaven or hell ?
i am lost in the stream of unconsciousness

naturally many million others too
but that doesn´t help me !

talk

you talk
i listen, you talk
i stutter
you look at me
i look away
i know
i know full well
i´m doing it wrong
i am a prisoner of right and wrong

chickpeas

I am counting the chickpeas,
I hear a snatch of bird song.
Lip set sullenly,
I am lying to myself :
" I would, I would do everything needed, anything required of me"
The enemy is within,
is behind my front lines
and is destroying post offices, railway bridges, airstrips, command centres.
Yes, you can run, but you just can´t hide.