I LOST SOUL

i´ve lost
soul, something´s gone
something i never had ?
and this long history
these long histories
are tearing me up inside
what do i need ?
the madonna of the strange seas
and above all
me

LOST SOUL

so heavy is me
shouting, screaming, crying
tskk ! hisses the mother inside me
good that i have a strong heart
otherwise
this
would tear me apart

WHERE OR WHAT ?

a parking lot

in a poorly lit undercroft

earnest ads for samaritans

crumpled beer cans

dark oil stains on the uneven concrete

behind a pillar a used condom

where she

at three a.m. after the club

had downed her panties and upped her skirt

and they had had a good time

drunken and urgent

unaware that the security guard had them on the low resolution surveillance screen

watching horny, envious

irritated when a voice at the glass pane

asked for a taxi number

couldn´t see properly anyway

just the movements

and where or what is life ?

Known Recipients

I see the soft greens of very early morning
and like a million others
think about my evil, my stupidity, aggressivity and coarseness
wonder, hoping
is there something that can wash away my sin ?

yet fully aware
nothing gets undone
that was done
however much i forget
a chance encounter
can bring it all up again
that was and that is me
there is evil in everyone