the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

i suppose i think that

one day

the curtain will be pulled aside

and you

will tell me the truth about it all

the truth

about the world, as it really is,

what you felt

then and then, and what in fact happened.

i will sit

on the floor with my head between your legs

a thirsty kitten

i´ll lap up the truth, the actual truth.

the knowledge

that there are no contours, no lifebelts,

that there´s no final assessment,

no last word

is beyond me.

HUMPH

i was stupid enough to read her diary:
what a big baby he is !
and thinks he´s the only male in the world !
Ok, nice to have someone who always wants to fuck with me
but what a price i pay !
and he´s really no great shakes in that department
i think i´ll put some space between him and me

i put the diary down  and returned to my room
so, i´m not her god
logical really
i mean if i
don´t think i´m a god
why on earth should she ?
dispiriting all the same

my cookie crumbles

about my plans, intentions and resolutions
to leave you
to set myself free.
well
you held the kitchen door open for me
my eyes took in
your carelessly buttoned blouse
breasts half revealed
and desire locked me in
again